Trip down memory lane
by Seana26
Summary: Roni decided to tell Rogers about her dark and painful past. PS. Trigger warning! Rape/sexual assault!


They were sitting on the sofa with warm blanket wrapped around them. It was rare that they could spend time together without rush, tons of work and looking at the clock every five minutes. Roni was watching TV, laying on Rogers chest and caressing his back with one hand. She wasn't really paying attention to what she was watching, the most important thing for her was the warmth of her boyfriend and that little moment. When she finally lifted her head up, she noticed he was looking at her, smiling and massaging her back.

Roni rose up a bit, so her lips could meet his, she gently touched his lips and entered her tongue into his mouth. She sucked his lower lip, trying to straddle him. He lifted her a bit helping her sitting on him, then his hands went to her shirt, Rogers lifted it up, releasing her perfect breasts. When her shirt was already on the floor she unbuttoned his shirt exposing his perfect muscles, she sucked on his neck, while her hands were fighting with the belt.

"Maybe...I'll help with that, love." he said with raspy voice.

"Yes, please." she answered, kissing him once again.

After a second they were both naked, Roni smiled to him while her tongue was licking his ear, Rogers moaned holding her hips tighter. When they both found a perfect rhythm for their love, Roni looked at him, his face was tensed while he was focusing to gave her more pleasure. At once her voice break the silence and filled the room.

"Stop, please." she said, with glassy eyes.

Rogers eyes opened immediately, he was sensitive on what she was doing or telling him, he didn't want to hurt her in any way and always tried to control himself, even when he was on the edge of pleasure.

"What happened? Did I hurt you?" he asked, looking at her with wide opened eyes.

"No." she whispered, "just give me a second."

After a moment he felt the weight of Roni's body on him again, he was more then elevated and even that small pause didn't change it, he looked at Roni all the time, he face, her eyes and her perfect breasts were bouncing in front of him. Rogers grabbed her hips tighter, trying to lower the pace, but after a moment he felt how Roni's legs became weaker. He hugged her tighter, helping her get off of him, and after a moment she was laying on the sofa next to him, with her eyes half closed.

"What a ride." she giggles.

"Yes, it was." he said, kissing her arm. "are you okay? Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"Yes. I'm sorry for that… it was just… a bad memory" she said, kissing his lips.

"You want to….?" he starter.

"No." she interrupt him, "that was nothing. Can we go to sleep for now?" she asked, half asleep.

"Yes. You want me to carry you to bed?"

"No. We can sleep here." she answered, pressing her body to his.

Rogers looked at his beautiful girlfriend once again, the sofa wasn't very good to sleep, especially for two people, so he tried to fit himself and leave more space for Roni. She was sleeping peacefully when an horrible scream filled the room, Rogers quickly opened his eyes, trying to find the source of scream. He looked at Roni, every muscle was tensed, her face contorted in pain. He heard her scream and after that he saw her fighting while sleeping.

"I don't want to! Leave me alone!"

"Roni! Roni wake up!" he tried to wake her.

Roni's eyes opened wildly, she didn't know where she was and for a moment she thought the nightmare came back to her again. After a second she looked into Roger's eyes, the scare and worry mixed on his face and she could tell that he didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry I woke you. I didn't mean to." she said, rolling from the sofa.

Rogers looked at her, she was different, but he didn't know what was the cause of it. He went to the kitchen where Roni was making tea, she was wearing only his shirt and black panties when Rogers stood behind her. One of his hands landed on her tight. Rogers felt her tensed muscles, she cringed under his touch even though he touched her before not so long ago.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired." she said with a small smile.

"Roni." he gently grabbed her wrist. "I love you, and if I did something wrong, if I hurt you or you don't want to…"

"It's not about you!" she shouted, spilling hot tea on the floor. "it's about him!"

Rogers looked at his girlfriend, he had never seen her like that, Roni was always so tough, seeing her fragil like that was something new to him. Roni freed herself from his gentle grasp, she couldn't look into his eyes so she make the only thing that she could in that situation- she ran. Rogers looked at her back while she locked herself in the bathroom. He didn't know who "he" was, but he promised himself that he would never hurt Roni, seeing her like that was the most hurting thing.

"Roni, please. Open the door. I want to make sure you are okay." he knocked to the bathroom door.

After a few minutes the white door opened with a little click, Roni was still in his shirt, but her chocolate eyes had become red and salty marks were visible on her cheeks. Rogers gently touched her face, trying to wipe the last salty tear. She took a deep breath and after a second she held his hand. She pulled him so they both could sat on the bed. Roni didn't know how to start, but she knew she had to say all the truth so they could build something new.

"I'll tell you why I acted like that. After than you can stay here with me or just walk away. I won't blame you. I won't cry… I will understand."

"Roni… I…"

"Please. I have to tell you this or it will ruin us… ruin me. Just listen,okay?"

"Okay." he nodded.

"When I was 25, I had a boyfriend, his name was Leo, he was nice and very rich, but it wasn't why I wanted to be with him. He treated me very well and I loved him. We were together once and after one of the football matches, when his team lost, he took me to his car and kissed me…" Roni closed her eyes, "then he threw me on the back sit and….he raped me. I didn't tell anyone. I was so stupid, I thought it would be only time that he'd get mad and that's why…. I was with him for more than two years. I thought that sex should look like that, violent without any love, that beating me was a part of it somehow… Sometimes I get back to it with my memory and that's why I acted like this today when we had sex. It can be a scent, a piece of fabric that feels the same. He reped me so many times that I can't get rid of that even thought it was 15 years ago. I love you with all my heart and I thought I would get over it, but I don't want you to feel like you hurt me, because you don't. It's me. I don't want you to deal to with something that happened 15 years ago… it's not fair and I'll understand if you want to leave." Roni said, without looking at him.

"Roni." he whispered, holding her hands, "look at me."

Roni's eyes filled with tears, she tried to be brave, but the truth was she didn't know what she would do if he left now. She was hoping that her confess wouldhelp not only her but also their relationship.

"I love you. You are the reason I live, I wake up every morning just to see your beautiful face next to me. If I ever find that guy or if he gets near you….I'll kill him. I'm not telling that just because… I love you so much, hearing what he did to you… If you ever feel like today, if you don't want to be touched by me… just tell me. I won't be mad, I can control myself and I would be mad only if i would hurt you in any way. You understand that?" he said, pulling her on his lap.

"I love you." she whispered, kissing his cheek.

"I love you more." he answered, rocking her gently on his lap.


End file.
